16 Mar My Journey to Personal Authority, Sovereignty and Purpose

‘Man Know Thyself!’ – It is such a profound command because of its complexity. And as we begin to get a handle on what potentially it is that we are, we additionally realise that much of who we are can only be discovered when we take our show on the road. 

What I mean by this simply is that until the latest fast car is road tested, its capacity is unrealised. Sitting dormant in the garage of our bedrooms, or the confines of our comfort zones whatever that looks like for us – you can do all the personality tests you like, check your star signs, immerse yourself in the numerology of your birthdates and add the letters of your name together but until you step into the fray and do the things you feel drawn to, experience the knock backs, rejections, obstacles, peaks and troughs of lived experience it’s almost impossible to ascertain the metal from which you are made. 

Before I left home at 17, I had some ideas about who I thought I was, about what my beliefs were and what I stood for; what my values were. However, over the years which followed all of my assumptions were to be tested. Many tests I failed, some I passed. And over all I realised if I am to live in integrity to myself, I have to know for myself exactly what my values are. I also have to know as Earl Nightingale exhorts us in The Strangest Secret ‘What I want!’

I say this because when I first encountered my coach, mentor and therapist Ed Rooke the initial exercise he took me through in my first session was to establish when in my life I had had a sense of Sovereignty. The way in which he evoked this dialogue I didn’t realise initially that this was what we were uncovering but he asked me questions which enabled me to identify that I had achieved a sense of Sovereignty just before I turned 5 years old and again just before I turned 18. 

I realise at these junctures in my life I knew who I was and what I wanted. At 17 I could define and explain it better than at 4 but at 5 and 18 I did something fundamental which compromised my Sovereignty.

Perhaps we’ll explore further the traps of religion and how this impacted me psychologically in another article but suffice to say, now I realise having gone along with other peoples agendas, however they had been packaged as beneficial or ‘right’ because they didn’t align with ‘My Right’ – what was right for me, what I as a unique individual stood for and am here to contribute, it was impossible for the direction that my life was to go in to bring me purpose, meaning, joy or fulfilment. 

I learnt this the hard way. And these lessons fuel my work now. As I read the men’s work tomes and am struck by the repeated exhortation to know my unique purpose in order to be ‘trust worthy’, it irks me that no one teaches you this stuff when you’re embarking upon adulthood, you have to wait until you get to the Second Half of Life to realise everything which came before was the work of the ego and now it’s time to connect with, to embody and to express the longings, the gifts and the calling of our unique and individual Souls as they wish to express themselves through us. Next time we talk we need to discuss what a privilege that is! – Really! – It’s an absolute privilege.