"What's Your Idea of a Man?"

The initial work of self-discovery brings us to the next question of; – ‘where do I fit?’

Having discovered the key attributes of your unique identity, ascertained your true values and given yourself permission to be the most actualised version of yourself, the next step is to get clear on where you can gain maximum expression.

What role does your unique identity suit?

What occupation aligns with your true values?

In what vocation will you be able to use your gifts and have the greatest impact?

First off, everyone is here for a reason! – And, that in fact is not a bold statement. To qualify this statement consider living your life with the opposite perspective and think for a moment if you can get any useful motivation from such a point of view.

If not, simply scrap it.

The Idea of a man is here to give you the unfair advantage. Unfair, in so much as illustrated by the statement above we see that a simple change in the way we look at things will change our energy and put us into a very different mental/emotional space.

We want to be able to take advantage of as many heightened states as possible in order to maximise our lives and get the most out of this gift of life we’ve been given.

Thus, holding onto unhelpful paradigms like; ‘there is no reason for me to be here!’ may help others who want to take advantage of directionless individuals, but will not help you live a productive fulfilling life.

The starting basis therefore is for us as individuals to see our own unique value.

Human beings are infinitely valuable commodities. The issue however is, most of us don’t see ourselves that way. We are most valuable in fact to ourselves. So, taking a step back and placing a value upon ourselves will from a psychological perspective help immensely to shift you into a mental/emotional space which recognises that you are your own greatest asset.

I have used words just now like asset and commodity. These are financial terms. And this is significant because, things human beings place value upon often cost a lot of money. So when we think about our worth, and value in these terms we are less likely to take ourselves and our lives for granted.

We should recognise that we directly impact our own lives more than any outside force, and this is why the sages of the ages compel us to look within because if we don’t discover within ourselves what is required to lead our lives – emphasis on the word ‘Lead’ – we’ll unwittingly become victims of circumstances and other external forces.

Forces like the will and desires of others and their objectives and agendas. Or the ebb and flow of time which passes so quickly and if not harnessed all to quickly runs out and we look back on years of missed opportunities and abandoned dreams wondering why our lives feel so meaningless.

Meaning itself comes through applying meaning. Even words themselves only have the meaning they have because we attribute those meanings to them.

Imagine placing a new and more helpful meaning upon your own life, like seeing yourself not as a problem but as the solution to your problems. Seeing yourself for the limitless wealth of potential and possibility that you are. All the resources you need to fulfil your dreams just waiting to be tapped to provide yourself with a quality existence full of meaning, purpose and fulfilment living inside of yourself.

All of a sudden the possibilities have increased multi-fold because the solution to all your problems was right under your nose – literally staring you in the face every time you looked in the mirror.

To bring these considerations to a helpful conclusion then; in seeking to discover where we fit, we need to do inventory of our unique gifts, our distinct qualities and the leanings and assets of our peculiar personality. We must ask ourselves the often discouraged but infinitely helpful question; – “What do we want?!”

The saying goes ‘I want, never gets’ the truth however is quite the opposite.

It’s so important to ask and answer the question of what you want because if we are honest when we answer this question we’ll find important clues about ourselves and the mission were here to complete. You’ll find that seeking to subvert your true desires in order to fulfil someone else’s agenda or conclusions about how you should live your life will set you on a course where you find your subconscious seeking to get, happiness and meaning in ways and from sources we’ll describe as potentially less than healthy.

This is the route to additions and other complications in life. There’s nothing so painful for the soul as trying to fit the square peg of our lives into the round hole of someone else’s agenda. Whether it be society, family or just the fact we’ve never taken the time to know ourselves and believe in ourselves enough to pursue a career and path in life that we truly aspire to and are genuinely inspired by.

What you want out of this life is fundamentally linked to who you are intrinsically. And occupying yourself in work you love doesn’t feel like work. Mark Twain said it wonderfully when he said – “Find a job you enjoy doing, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”

Now we’ve established this foundation it’s time to get down to practical matters, otherwise were simply shooting the breeze philosophising about shoulda, coulda, wouldas which land us right back where we began.

Bills need to be paid, mouths need to be fed. Responsibilities don’t simply evaporate the moment we decide we have a mission and calling more aligned and harmonious to our instinctual nature than what we’ve been up to till this point in our lives.

Now that we are looking at the world and our place in if from a more enlightened perspective, whatever occupation has filled our waking moments up to now, it’s our responsibility to begin to set the wheels in motion and begin to build the life we were born to live.

We need to recognise that you get to decide what that looks like. You don’t need anyone else’s permission for your personal dreams and aspirations. Now you must decide where you are going and who is going with you.

It may well be that meanwhile you need to work in less than ideal occupations until your dreams become a reality but as David Deida says in The Way of the Superior Man – “As of now, spend a minimum of one hour a day doing whatever you are waiting to do until your finances are more secure.”

Find your purpose and spend quality time thinking about how in reality you’re going to build your life in such a way as to make your purpose your reality.

You can begin working on your passion now, one hour a night, studying or building or preparing yourself for your craft begins to change your lifestyle and sharpens the mind and focus which lays the foundation for a new reality.

In our current situation there’s so many opportunities at our finger tips, whether it be studying through an online course or open university or contacting a mentor and learning our crafts from the experts sharing their material online. We must learn to balance our time and energy in order to live the life we were put here to live and fit where we choose to fit.

Written by

Hi I'm Omar Zac Phillips and I’m a writer. My Blog; theideaofaman.com is where I journal my experiences as a man and share The Idea of a Man Project, a 12 step process of self-discovery.

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